I woke up with this lovely dark cloud over my head… it stuck around for most of the day, only disappearing if there was something cool going on (we saw two white rhinos only about ten feet from the road, just lounging, and six lionesses from different distances… also lounging. Or playing with flies). But mostly it stuck around, making everything sour.
We saw the lions.
"Lions! Wait, you can't see them. Oh wait, you can, if you contort into weird positions…" They rolled around a bit in the tall grass, we took pictures and filmed and watched through the binoculars. "They really are like cats." Just like that, my brain switched from, "Lions! Awesome!" to "Big cats. Hmph."
I spent the rest of the time working on the laptop.
Just dwelling on that makes me feel negative. And I've been feeling way too negative over the past three days to dwell on yet another thing that makes me feel bad.
So… the good things:
- We watched The Killing Game, which follows a litter of lion cubs through their lives. They almost take down a giraffe bull… Dad couldn't watch after they killed him though, because… well, I don't know. Thing is, I was completely fine until they showed the bugs. EURGH.
- I found a really nice song by Owl City called "Galaxies" It's awesome. AWESOME.
- I danced to "Hey Ya!" by Outkast. My quadruceps hurt now.
- I'm reading How to Make Your Dreams Come True by mark forster.
You can find that online for free, if I remember correctly, which is great. It's basically a book of dialogues between a Present Self and a Future Self and a Future Future Self… interpersed with exercises, summaries, and important information regarding 'doing what you want when you feel like it.'
While that may sound stupid, the point is that you have a clear vision of where you want to be in the Future, which means that anything you want to be doing is in some way related to that vision… which mean that things get done with much less effort than they would if you were making liss and 'forcing' yourself to do them.
The thing that's really interesting about this book is that this dialoguing thing works. I've done it in some way or another since I started writing (Okay, muse, I need to fix this problem… I talk to the muse and the problem gets solved in some way or another). The amazing thing is not that I'm talking to my 'future self.' The amazing thing is that the human brain can do this.
It's amazing that my Future Self is completely diffrent from my Present Self. It's amazing that they can carry on a conversation with each other without anything exploding or going wrong.
I managed to talk out a couple of prolems I've been trying to talk out with my parents, and that made me feel a lot lot better.