Thursday, July 19, 2012

Enough


I'm sick of this country. I'm sick of this trip. I'm tired of this non-routine. I'm tired of restaurant food and roads and the inability to do anything that requires higher brain functions like memorization.

Mom and Dad don't miss home. Ileana and Ioan miss the material things. I miss the sameness.

I miss knowing that every Tuesday and Thursday, barring sickness or other engagements, we drive 25-35 minutes to Tae Kwon Do. On Thursdays, we leave earlier for Ileana's voice lessons. Church is on Sunday. Acro Dance varies depending on the year. The library is seven to twelve minutes away on foot, depending on the speed of walking. School is every week day starting at 8… except that Ileana is invariably late and we start at 8:30 or 9 with a lecture about punctuality. French lessons are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. Boring and lengthy. There's a bit of religion lesson before French or the rest of school.

After French or religion, we separate. My week tends to be fully planned out that Saturday, because one of my preferred methods of procrastination is planning ahead or finding some productivity hack (the hardest and most efficient is DO IT). The subjects range from SAT/ACT study (which cuts out everything else) to psychology, math, history, and English. 

They're not interesting subjects. I could think of more fascinating things to be doing instead of reading about the different types of psychologists, or figuring out what that Greek E means in math, or learning about people I don't know how to identify with. And English? How do you study a language you think in after you learn grammar?

But even though they were all pointless subjects at the time, learned because I had to just in case, I've come to realize some are necessary. After adjusting, the first thing I'll be doing is bringing out the Physics, Chemistry, and Biology textbooks. I'll be actually learning math, for once. And I'll be reading historical books. And beyond all that, I'll have nonfiction books and fiction books to read, because no textbook, no matter how hard it tries, will ever be fun and entertaining unless the student finds textbooks fascinating. And I'm not one of those people. 

Why am I planning for something nearly seven months ahead? Because it's nearly impossible to plan for now. This week we do one thing, and next week we do something else. Extended travel with other people in charge means your stuff gets passed by.

Is this going to change? No. I never wanted to go on this trip. Like in all family trips, I'm here, floating along. The rare 'cool thing' (evolution exhibit, Melbourne) gets mentioned. All else is relegated into two groups— 'must endure because it's very important,' and 'absolutely pointless.'

Both are enjoyable… afterward. Rarely will I repeat the experience.

I've been in 16 countries. I've been marinated in monuments, culture, and food. I've posed for countless pictures, walked countless miles, and experienced more things than most people see.

I've had enough.

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