Saturday, June 30, 2012

Diego Suarez

We've reached Diego Suarez. After waking up at 6:30, taking a boat for forty five minutes to the dock, and then driving for five hours, we were exhausted.

And… strangest of all, there's no electricity at the hotel today, so I'm taking advantage of that fact and trying to recalibrate my laptop battery.

Hopefully tomorrow we'll have electricity, because even though I now have two paperbacks (pretty thick ones, too!) I'm not really in the mood for reading anything complicated, which is what they both feel like.

We went to the restaurant across the street— first for juices (banana juice is delicious— I'll have to learn to make it later), then for dinner. We stayed there about two hours— an hour to wait for the food, 45 minutes to eat it… it was interesting.

But I definitely don't understand the French. After 6 hours of traveling, during which I couldn't do much of anything in the car (the paperbacks are supposed to be started in July, and I couldn't read using my iPod), I wasn't in the mood to wait an hour for my poulet sauce vanille. But we did wait, and while waiting Dad and Mom and I started talking about college again…

See, the thing is, I can go to college in America or in Romania. There's upsides and downsides to each, but in Romania it's cheaper, I have an entire network of doctors in my family, and med school is 6 years instead of 8. On the other hand, I sort of want to stay in America, doing whatever it is that college kids here do, and going through the crazy applications process and everything.

But then, I think… it's so easy to get into med school in Romania, comparatively, and in the end, if I'm two years ahead of everyone I get a huge leap ahead. Not only that, but in Romania I'll be exploring all the various disciplines of medicine that exist, which I wouldn't be doing in America.

I'm a bit sad that this has come up again— I was certain I was going to go to college in America, but then I started getting this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I thought of it all.

I don't know. I'm confused. It's not so easy to say to myself, "I'll think about it when we get back home," because in February applications already start being due.  Sometimes I why I can't just skip a couple of years and already be at the point where I know what it is I'm going to do and whether or not I actually want to do it, because I don't like taking so long with these decisions, and I definitely don't like being so uncertain about everything. It's like, every two months I change my mind, or I get right back to where I started.

I'm wondering if everyone goes through this, but it doesn't seem like it. Everyone has already decided and gone ahead with their plans, while I'm still clueless.

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