Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Anticipation


Nothing of interest happened whatsoever today. I replied to e-mails, read a bit of Moby Dick, watched 10 Things I Hate About You

Oh, wait!

I realized today that since I know what I want to do with my life before kids, I can actually start planning which SAT IIs to take, which colleges, etc.

The SAT test dates are in March, May, and June, which means that I have enough time to study, decide, etc. I just wanted to get a bit of an extra headstart, so I decided to look up the test dates, figure out what sort of things I need to study for psychiatry (advanced mathematics is included on the list), and filled out some of the questionnaires on the ACT site. Last February, when I filled these out, my major and career were Undecided, with an "I'm very sure about this decision." Now… it's Pre-Med.

I find it really stupid, though, that while you can select Pre-Dentistry, Pre Veterinary, Chiropractic, Nursing, etc, but that when you want to be an actual, certified, medical doctor (not counting dentists), you can only select pre-med. These people DO KNOW that medicine is an incredibly LARGE field of study, right? But it's probably because pre-med is just a general term, and because there's four more years of school after college. (Or University).

I kind of want to get home so I can start working at this. But… (don't laugh, Dad) it's kind of like having a baby. Mom told me that when she was pregnant with me, Dad couldn't wait for me to be born. But it's good to wait. It gives you time to think, to plan ahead, to not go ahead with the first decision that pops into your mind (once, after a long period of not sleeping very well— ie exhaustion— I actually decided to go to France to study medicine), and to actually get used to the idea.

It's like waiting to write this novel. I've got two more days before I can type in Perfume, Chapter 1. But this is good, even if it doesn't feel like it. I have more time to ruminate on it, more time to think over the plot troubles that will hit me on the 6th or so, more time to figure out what the setting is like, more time to start getting a feel of what the characters are like and what motivates them, more time to think through all the pitfalls. When I get to them, they'll seem enormous, but I'll have been subconsciously working through the story so long that it'll be much easier than if I jumped into the story now.

So while I want to go home so I can be a 'proper highschooler,' I can't go yet. I've got to anticipate it. I've got to be able to plan out things before I jump into the work load. If I do jump in, I'll be so preoccupied with working I won't know where I'm going. 

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